Quran, Noble Quran

Quran: [17:36] "You shall not accept any information, unless you verify it for yourself. I have given you the hearing, the eyesight, and the brain, and you are responsible for using them."

Quran: [49:12] "O ye who believe! Avoid suspicion as much (as possible): for suspicion in some cases is a sin: And spy not on each other behind their backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, ye would abhor it...But fear Allah. For Allah is Oft-Returning, Most Merciful."

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THE RIGHTEOUS WIFE

Marriage is a blessed contract between a man and a woman. They begin the long journey of life in a spirit of love, co-operation, harmony and tolerance, where each feels at ease with the other, and finds tranquility, contentment and comfort in the company of the other.

Allah, the Exalted, says:

��And live with them honorably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing through which Allah brings a great deal of good.�

An-Nisa 4: 19

Marriage is the strongest of bonds, in which Allah unites the two Muslim partners, who come together on the basis of love, understanding, and establish a Muslim family in which children will live and grow up, and they will develop the good character and behavior taught by Islam. Allah refers to the relationship between males and females in terms of partnership for achieving goodness and fulfilling the divine mandate for their lives

Allah, the Exalted, says:

“The believers, males and females, are partners of one another; they shall jointly enjoin all that is good and counsel against all that is evil.”

At-Tawbah 9: 71

Righteous and good works help you to build a strongest Muslim family. The righteous woman is the pillar, cornerstone and foundation of the Muslim family. She is seen as the greatest joy in a man�s life, as

The Messenger said:

“The worldly life is an enjoyment, the best enjoyment of which is a righteous woman.”

Muslim & An-Nisa’i

A righteous woman is the greatest blessing that Allah can give to a man, for with her he can find comfort and rest after the exhausting struggle of earning a living.

With his wife, he can find incomparable tranquility and pleasure.

She must obey him in matters that are not disobedience to Allah. The role of the wife is summarized in the verse that women have rights even as they have duties, according to what is equitable; but men have a degree over them

Allah, the Exalted, says:

“…And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards Living expenses, etc.) Similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect, etc.) to what is reasonable, but men has a degree (of responsibility) over them…”

Al-Baqarah 2: 228

The Sahaabah, may Allah (subhaanahu wa �ta�aalaa) be pleased with them, and those who followed them understood this Islamic teaching and transmitted it from the Prophet (PBUH). When a bride was prepared for marriage, she would be told to serve her husband and take care of his rights.

�A�ishah (May Allah be pleased with her) asked the Messenger of Allah (PBUH):

�Who has the greatest rights over a woman?� He said, �Her husband.� She asked, �And who has the greatest rights over a man?� He said, �His mother.�

[Al-Bazzar with a hasan isnad. See Majma� Al-Zawa�id, 4/308, Bab Haqq Al-Zawj �ala�l-Mar�ah]

Allah, the Exalted, says:

“O humankind! Be careful of your duty to your Lord Who created you from a single soul and from it created its mate and from them twain hath spread abroad a multitude of men and women.”

An-Nisa 4: 1

In the second century AH there was a righteous man called Shu�ayb ibn

Harb, who used to fast and spend his nights in prayer. He wanted to marry a woman, and told her humbly, �I am a bad-tempered man.� She replied, tactfully and cleverly, �The one who makes you lose your temper is worse than you.� He realized that there stood before him a woman who was intelligent, wise and mature. He immediately said to her, �You will be my wife.�

Allah, the Exalted, says:

�… Marry of the women that please you; two, three or four, but if you fear you will not be able to deal justly, then only one…�

An-Nisa 4: 3

Allah, the Exalted, says:

��It may be that you hate something when it is good for you��

Al-Baqarah 2: 216

Allah, the Exalted, says:

�How could you take it once you have entered unto one another and they (the women) have taken from you and awesome covenant?�

An-Nisa 4: 21

This degree is usually interpreted by Muslim scholars in conjunction with another passage which states, among other things, that men are trustees, guardians, and protectors of women because God has made some of them excel others and because men expend of their means

Allah, the Exalted, says:

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means…”

An-Nisa 4: 34

Serving her husband: First of all by carrying out what is required in his house, such as bringing up and educating the children, preparing meals and housework, etc. It is obligatory upon her to serve her husband unrestrictedly, including: serving him, traveling along with him, making her available to him, and so on � just as it is obligatory to obey the parents, since the obedience due from her to the parents transfers to the husband. She preserves her husband�s children, home and wealth.

“IF A WOMAN KNEW WHAT RIGHT HER HUSBAND HAS (OVER HER), SHE WOULD NOT SIT DOWN WHILE HIS LUNCH & DINNER ARE SERVED TO HIM UNTIL HE FINISHES (HIS MEAL).”

[Sahihul Jami' � 5259]

The Messenger said:

“It is not right that any human being should prostrate to another human being, and if it were right for a human being to prostrate to another human being I would have ordered the woman to prostrate to her husband due to the greatness of his rights upon her. By Him in whose Hand is my soul, if from his foot the crown of his head there was a wound pouring forth with pus, and she (his wife) came and licked that, then she would (still) not have fulfilled his right.”

[Good, reported by Ahmad and others]

Whichever woman obeys Allah Almighty, with regard to her husband and fulfils his rights, and then he will be her Paradise – meaning he will be a cause for entering Paradise; and if she is disobedient to her husband � then the Fire

Keeping the husband�s secrets, particularly what occurs between him and her in their private life? Disclosing the husband�s secrets will hurt him and anger him and this contradicts obedience to him and seeking to please him. Furthermore, preserving his secrets is one of the duties of the righteous and obedient woman, part of guarding what they are to guard in the absence of their husbands is that they should not broadcast their secrets:

Allah, the Exalted, says:

��Therefore the righteous women are obedient to Allah and their husbands, and guard that which Allah has ordered them to guard (their chastity and their husband�s property) in the absence of their husbands…�

An-Nisa 4: 34

Allah, the Exalted, says:

��But if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance): for Allah is most high, great (above you all).�

Al-Nisa 4: 34

Allah, the Exalted, says:

�And you have it not in your power to do justice between wives, even though you may wish (it), but be not disinclined (from one) with total disinclination, so that you leave her as it were in suspense; and if you effect a reconciliation and guard (against evil), then surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.”

An- Nisa 4: 129

Allah, the Exalted, says:

“Allah does not like that evil should be uttered in public…”

An- Nisa 4: 148

The Messenger said:

�Bad omen is in the women, the house and the horse.�

[Bukhari]

A woman who would understand the psychology and nature of her husband and would know what would please him and what would make him angry; she would be able to win his heart and earn his admiration and respect, and would close the door to every possible source of conflict that could disrupt their married life. The woman who does not understand these realities does not deserve to be a successful wife; through her ignorance and shortcomings she may provoke her husband to lose his temper, in which case, she would be worse than him, for being the direct cause of his anger.

Allah, the Exalted, says:

“And Allah hath given you wives of your own kind, and hath given you, from your wives, sons and grandsons, and hath made provision of good things for you. Is it then in vanity that they believe and in the grace of Allah that they disbelieve?”

An-Nahl 16: 72

She is tolerant and forgiving: The Muslim woman who is following the guidance of Islam obeys the command of Allah (subhaanahu wa �ta�aalaa):

��Let them forgive and overlook, do you not wish that Allah should forgive you?…�

An-Nur 24: 22

Allah, the Exalted, says:

“Glory be to Him Who created all the sexual pairs, of that which the earth growth, and of themselves, and of that which they know not.”

Ya-Sin 36: 36

Allah, the Exalted, says:

�Whosoever shows patience and forgives, that would truly be from the things recommended by Allah.�

Ash-Shura 42: 43

Such a woman deserves to be the queen of her husband�s heart and to fill his soul with joy and happiness.

Allah, the Exalted, says:

“O humankind! Lo! We have created you male and female, and have made `you nations and tribes that ye may know one another.”

Al-Hujurat 49: 13

Being a good wife is a not only a quality that she may boast about among her friends, but it is also a religious obligation for which Allah (subhaanahu wa �ta�aalaa) will call her to account: if she has done well, she will be rewarded, but if she has fallen short she will have to pay the penalty.

The Messenger said:

“When a man calls his wife to satisfy his desire she must go to him even if she is occupied at the oven.”

[Tirmidhi]

One of the most important ways in which the Muslim woman obeys her husband is by respecting his wishes with regard to the permissible pleasures of daily life, such as social visits, food, dress, speech, etc. The more she responds to his wishes in such matters, the happier and more enjoyable the couple�s life becomes, and the closer it is to the spirit and teachings of Islam.

She does not look at other men: The true Muslim woman avoids looking at men other than her husband; she does not stare at men who are not related to her (i.e. who are not her mahrams), in obedience to the command of Allah (subhaanahu wa �ta�aalaa):

Allah, the Exalted, says:

“And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent…”

Al � Nur 24: 31

Allah, the Exalted, says:

And those who say: “Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders of the Muttaqun.�

Al-Furqan 25: 74

Allah, the Exalted, says:

“And stay in your houses. Bedizen not yourselves with the bedizenment of the Time of ignorance (pre-Islamic era).”

Al-Ahzab 33: 33

She tries to create an atmosphere of peace and tranquility for him: The true Muslim woman does not forget that according to Islam marriage is one of the signs of Allah (subhaanahu wa �ta�aalaa). Islam has made the wife a source of tranquility, rest and consolation for her husband:

Allah, the Exalted, says:

“Among His signs is that He created for you spouses of your own kind in order that you may repose to them in tranquility and He instilled in your hearts love and affection for one another; verily, in these are signs for those who reflect (on the nature of the reality).”

Ar-Rum 30: 21

Allah, the Exalted, says:

“…be not soft in speech (with strangers), lest those in whose hearts is a disease should be moved with desire…”

Al-Ahzab 33: 32

Allah, the Exalted, says:

“And all things we have created by pairs that you may remember.”

Adh-Dhariyat 51: 49

Allah, the Exalted, says:

�O you who believe surely of your wives and your children there are enemies to you (who may stop you from obedience of Allah); therefore beware of them! But if you pardon and overlook, and forgive, then verily, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.�

At-Taghabun 64: 14

The best wife is the one who knows how to create harmony in her marriage and strikes a balance between obeying and respecting her husband and expressing her own strong personality

The Messenger said:

“The wife is the guardian over the house of her husband and his children.”

[Bukhari and Muslim]

The Messenger said:

�Knowledge comes by learning, and patience comes by trying to be patient. Whoever seeks goodness will be given it, and whoever fears evil will be protected from it.�

[Al-Daaraqutni in al-Afraad; this is a hasan hadeet, as was stated by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami�, 2328]

Striving to please the husband by every possible means:

The Messenger said:

�Your women from the people of Paradise are the beloved and fertile, the one who is an asset to her husband, who if her husband becomes angry � comes and places her hand in the hand of her husband and says, �I will not taste sleep until you are pleased (with me).�

[Bukhari]

The Messenger said:

“If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter into Paradise.”

[Ibn Majah and Tirmidhi]

Obedience to Her Husband in that which does not involve disobedience to Allah (SWT) such that she fulfils his rights completely

The Messenger said:

“If I were to order anyone to prostrate to other than Allah, I would have ordered the woman to prostrate to her husband. By Him in whose Hand is the soul of Muhammad, the woman will not fulfill the rights of her Lord until she fulfils the rights of her husband; and even if he were to request her for herself (i.e. to have intercourse with her) whilst she was sitting upon a camel’s saddle, she should not refuse him.�

[Sahih, reported by Ibn Maajah and Ahmad from Abdullah ibn Awfaa]

The Messenger said:

“If it were permissible that a person may prostrate himself before another, I would have ordered that a wife should prostrate herself before her husband.”

[Tirmidhi]

The Messenger said:

“When the husband calls his wife to his bed and she disobeys, and he spends the night in anger against her, the angels keep cursing her till the morning.”

[Bukhari and Muslim]

The Messenger said:

�By the One in whose hand is my soul, there is no man who calls his wife to his bed, and she refuses him, but the One Who is in heaven will be angry with her, until the husband is pleased with her once more.�

[Muslim, 10/7, Kitab Al-Nikah, Bab Tahrim Imtina� Al-Mar�ah Min Firash Zawjiha]

The angels� curse will befall every woman who is rebellious and disobedient; this does not exclude those who are too slow and reluctant to respond to their husbands:

The Messenger said:

�Allah (subhaanahu wa �ta�aalaa) will curse those procrastinating women who, when their husbands call them to their beds, say �I will, I will . . .� until he falls asleep.�

[Al-Tabarani � Sahih in Al-Awsat and Al-Kabir. See Majma� Al-Zawa�id, 4/296, Bab Fi Man Yad�u Zawjahu Fa Ta�talla]

The Messenger said:

�Women are men�s partners.�

[Ahmad]

The Messenger said:

“If Allah grants a Muslim a righteous wife, this helps him preserve half of his religion (faith). He should, therefore, fear Allah as regards the other half.”

[At-Tabarani and Al-Hakim, and Al-Mundhri states in At-Targhib that it is an authentic hadith with a good chain of narrators]

Allah (subhaanahu wa �ta�aalaa) will reward the wife for her patience.

Allah, the Exalted, says:

��Seek help with patient perseverance (sabr) and prayer��

Al-Baqarah 2:153

And Allah commended the patient (those who have patience) when he said:

Allah, the Exalted, says:

��(It is righteousness�) to be firm and patient, in pain or suffering and adversity, and throughout all periods of panic. Such are the people of truth, the God-fearing.�

Al-Baqarah 2:177

�Patience means to keep close to Allah and to accept calmly the trials He sends, without complaining or feeling sad.�

Allah, the Exalted, says:

“…And we shall make a trial of you with evil and with good…”

Al-Anbiyaa 21:35

The Messenger said:

�A Muslim, male or female, continues to remain under trial in respect of his life, property and offspring until he faces Allah, the Exalted, with no sin record.�

[Tirmidhi]

The Messenger said:

�I have rewarded them this day for their patience and constancy (patience): they are indeed the ones that have achieved Bliss��

Al-Mu�minun 23:111

�The one who has patience is the one who has trained himself to handle difficulties.�

The Messenger said:

�None has been given a better gift than patience.�

[Bukhari & Muslim]

But the wife is still required to obey her husband, so long as no sin is involved, because there should be no obedience to a created being if it entails disobedience to the Creator.

The Messenger said:

“Their (husbands’) rights over you (wives) are that you do not allow anyone whom they dislike onto your bedding and you do not allow anyone whom they dislike into your house.”

[At-Tirmidhi]

She should appear before the husband in the best appearance, such that if he looks:

The Messenger said:

“The best woman is the one who when you look at her, you are pleased; when you order her, she obeys; if you are absent from her, she guards herself and your property.”

[At-Tabarani]

Just as a righteous wife is one of the four elements of happiness, so a bad wife is one of the four elements of misery

The Messenger said:

“Four things bring joy: a righteous wife, a spacious house, a pious neighbor and a comfortable riding animal.”

[Al-Hakim, Abu-Nu`aym and Al-Bayhaqi]

The Messenger said:

“A Woman is married for four reasons: her property, lineage, beauty and religion. You should better marry the religious one otherwise you will lose”.

[Bukhari and Muslim]

She is cheerful and grateful when she meets him:

The Messenger said:

�Allah (subhaanahu wa �ta�aalaa) will not look at the woman who does not thank her husband at the time when she cannot do without him.�

[Al-Hakim in Al-Mustadrak, 2/190, Kitab Al-Nikah; he said it is a hadith whose isnad is Sahih]

The Messenger said:

“Allah will not look at a woman who is ungrateful to her husband, while unable to do without him.”

[Al-Nasa'i]

�Aishah urged women to take good care of their husbands and to recognize the rights that their husbands had over them. She saw these rights as being so great and so important that a woman was barely qualified to wipe the dust from her husband�s feet with her face, as she stated:

�O womenfolk, if you knew the rights that your husbands have over you, every one of you would wipe the dust from her husband�s feet with her face.�

[Ibn Hibban � Sahih, and with a Jayyid Isnad by Al-Bazzar; its narrators are well known and are thiqat. See Ibn Al-Jawzi, Ahkam Al-Nisa�, p.311]

The Messenger said:

“�Treat your women well, for they are captives with you.”

[Hasan Sahih, reported by at-Tirmidhi]

This is a vivid expression of the importance of the husband�s rights over his wife. �A�ishah wanted to bring this to women�s attention, so as to remove from the hearts of arrogant and stubborn women all those harsh, obstinate feelings that all too often destroy a marriage and turn it into a living hell.

The Messenger said:

“If the woman knew the right of the husband, she would not sit when his morning and evening meals were presented until he finished.”

[Al-Bazzar and others]

She fills his heart with joy: Her intelligence to find ways and means of opening his heart and filling it with joy and happiness, so that she may become the queen of his heart. She understands that she is the greatest joy of a man in this world.

Avoidance of cursing:

The Messenger said:

�O women, give charity, for I have surely seen that you form the majority of the inhabitants of Hell.� They asked, �Why is this so, O Messenger of Allah?� He said, �Because you curse too much, and are ungrateful for good treatment (on the part of your husbands).

[Fath Al-Bari, 3/325, Kitab Al-Zakat, Bab Al-Zakat �Ala�l-Aqarib; Sahih Muslim, 2/65, Kitab Al-Iman, Bab Bayan Naqsan Al-Iman Bi Naqs Al-Ta�at]

The Messenger said:

“One’s spouse is entitled to certain rights.”

[Ibn `Umar]

According to another report given by Al-Bukhaari, he said:

�Because they are ungrateful for good and kind treatment. Even if you treated one of them (these ungrateful women) well for an entire lifetime, then she saw one fault in you, she would say, �I have never seen anything good from you!��

[Fath Al-Bari, 1/83, Kitab Al-Iman, Bab Kufran Al-�ashir]

She is cheerful and grateful when she meets him:

The Messenger said:

�Allah (subhaanahu wa �ta�aalaa) will not look at the woman who does not thank her husband at the time when she cannot do without him.�

[Al-Hakim in Al-Mustadrak, 2/190, Kitab Al-Nikah; he said it is a hadith whose isnad is Sahih]

According to a report given by Ahmad, a man said:

�O Messenger of Allah, are they not our mothers and sisters and wives?� He said, �Of course, but when they are treated generously they are ungrateful, and when they are tested, they do not have patience.�

[Ahmad, 3/428; its narrators are Rijal Al-Sahih]

�The Messenger of Allah went out to the prayer-ground for the (prayer of) Adha or Fitr, and he passed by the women and said, �O women! Give in charity, for I have been shown that you shall be the majority of the people of the Fire.� So they asked, �Why is that, O Messenger of Allah?� He replied, �You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands.�

[Bukhari]

The Messenger said:

“Allah shall ask every guardian about what he has been entrusted with, whether he preserved or ruined it.”

[An-Nasa'i and Ibn Hibban on the authority of Anas]

The Messenger said:

�I was shown the Fire and found that the majority of its inhabitants were women, due to ingratitude. It was said: Is it that they disbelieve in Allah? He said: They are ungrateful to their husbands and deny the good they do. If they were to treat one of them well always and she then saw something (displeasing) from you she would say: �I have never seen any good from you�.�

[Bukhari]

The Messenger said:

“Man would be committing a huge sin if he were to ruin whomever he supports.”

[Ahmad, Abu Dawud, Al-Hakim and Al-Bayhaqi on the authority of Ibn `Umar]

The warning given to the woman whose husband is angry with her reaches such an extent that it would shake the conscience of every righteous wife who has faith in Allah (subhaanahu wa �ta�aalaa) and the Last Day: she is told that her prayer and good deeds will not be accepted, until her husband is pleased with her again. This is stated in the hadeeth narrated by Jabir from �Abdullah:

The Messenger said:

�There are three people whose prayers will not be accepted, neither their good works: a disobedient slave until he returns to his masters and puts his hand in theirs; a woman whose husband is angry with her, until he is pleased with her again; and the drunkard, until he becomes sober.��

[Ibn Hibban in his Sahih, 12/178, Kitab Al-Ashribah, 2, Fasl Fi�l-Ashribah]

The Messenger said:

�There are two people whose prayers will not be accepted until they retrain from what they do: a fleeing slave and a Woman who disobeys her husband.�

[Al- Tabarani]

The Messenger said:

“Let every one of you have a thankful heart, a remembering tongue [remembering Allah] and a believing wife who will help him with regard to the Hereafter.”

[Ahmad, 5/282, and al-Tirmidhi and Ibn Maajah from Thawbaan, Saheeh al-Jaami�, 5231]

She is one of the most successful wives: She is obedient, kind and loving towards her husband, ever eager to please him. She keeps away from foolish and worthless talk. She is keen to provide an atmosphere of peace. Thus the Muslim wife deserves to be the most successful wife. She is the greatest blessing that Allah (subhaanahu wa �ta�aalaa) may bestow upon a man, and an incomparable source of joy in this life. The Prophet indeed spoke the truth when he said:

�This world is nothing but temporary conveniences and the greatest joy in this world Is a righteous woman.�

[Sahih Muslim, 10/56]

The Messenger said:

“A righteous wife to help you with your worldly and religious affairs is the best treasure anyone could have.”

[Al-Bayhaqi. Saheeh al-Jaami�, 4285]

The Muslim woman does not forget that her obedience to her husband is one of the things that may lead her to Paradise.

The Messenger said:

�If a woman prays her five (daily) prayers, fasts her month (Ramadan), guards her private parts and obeys her husband, it will be said to her, �Enter Paradise through whichever of the gates of Paradise you wish�.�

[Abu Na�im]

SELF CONTROL:

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:

A man asked the Prophet (PBUH) for an advice and he (PBUH) said, �Do not get angry.� Than man repeated that several times and he (PBUH) replied, �Do not get angry.�

[Bukhari]

The Messenger said:

�I know of a word, if he were to utter that, his rege would vanish and that is: �A �udhu billahi minash-Shaitan nir-rajim (I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the accursed).��

[Bukhari & Muslim]

She should not ask her husband for divorce without a reason necessitating it. This is the respectful and loving wife as Islam wants her to be, responsible for her home and loyal to her husband, and always careful to maintain a good relationship between them. If anything happens to upset their marriage, she hastens to calm the situation with her sincere love and wise understanding. She does not listen to the whispering of the Shaytan which calls her to do wrong, and she never hastens to ask her husband for a divorce. The marriage bond should be too strong to be undone by temporary arguments or occasional misunderstandings. The Prophet warned those foolish women who ask their husbands for a divorce with no legitimate reason that they would be denied even the scent of Paradise:

The Messenger said:

“Whichever woman asks her husband for divorce without a strong reason – then the fragrance of Paradise will be forbidden for her.”

[Sahih Muslim, reported by Abu Dawud, at-Tirmidhi and others]

Abu Hurairah (RA), narrates the Messenger of Allah (SAW) was asked:

“Which of the women is the best?” He replied, “The one who gives him (the husband) pleasure when he looks (at her outer beauty, or the inner beauty of her good character and how she devotes herself to obedience to Allah and taqwa); obeys him when he orders; and does not go against his wishes with regard to herself or her wealth by doing that which he dislikes.”

[Sahih Muslim, reported by an-Nasaa�ee, al-Haakim and Ahmad]

The Messenger said:

�So find out how close you are to your Husband, for that will decide your fate whether to Paradise or to Hell.�

[Ahmad]

She does not forget that she is the greatest joy in this life for a man, if she knows how to endear her to him. If she does not know how to endear herself to him then in most cases she will be a source of unhappiness and misery to her husband, as was confirmed by the Prophet:

�Three things make the son of Adam happy, and three make him miserable. Among the things that make the son of Adam happy are a good wife, a good home and a good

Means of transport; the things that make him miserable are a bad wife, a bad home and a bad means of transport.�

[Ahmad, 1/168]

The Messenger said:

“There are three things that bring happiness: a righteous woman whom you admire when seeing her, and whom you trust as regards your honor and property when leaving her, a good mount that enables you catch your friends, and a wide house that has many utilities. But there are three things that bring adversity: a woman whom you dislike when seeing her, who hurts you with her tongue, and whom you do not trust as regards your honor and property when leaving her, a bad mount that bothers you if you heat it, and if you do not beat it, it does not help you catch your friends, and a narrow house that has few utilities.”

[Al-Hakim]

A woman came to ask the Prophet (PBUH) about some matter, and when he had dealt with it, He asked her, �Do you have a husband?� She said, �Yes.� He asked her, �How are you with him?� She said, �I never fall short in my duties, except for that which is beyond me.� He said:

�Pay attention to how you treat him, for he is your Paradise and your Hell.�

[Ahmad and Al-Nisa�i with jayyid isnads, and by Al-Hakim, who said that its isnad was sahih. See Al-Mundhiri, Al-Targhib wa�l-Tarhib, 3/52, Kitab Al-Nikah]

From Husayn ibn Mihsan who said that my paternal aunt said:
“I came to Allah�s Messenger (SAW) for some need, so he asked, �You there! Are you married?� I replied, �Yes.� He then asked, �How are you towards your husband?� She responded, �I do not fall short in his service except with regard to what I am unable to do.� He said, �then looks to your standing with him, for indeed he is your Paradise and your Fire.�”

[Sahih, reported by al-Haadim and others]

The Messenger said:

�Whenever a woman causes annoyance and torture to her husband in this world, his mate from among the Houris of Paradise says to her: May Allah ruin thee, do not cause your husband annoyance, for, he is only your guest, and will soon leave thee to joins in Paradise.�

[Tirmidhi]

Allah is Beautiful and He loves beauty. In Islam, beauty is not just in the eye of the beholder. Beauty is in the whole of creation, because Allah – the One free of all imperfections – is the one responsible for it.

The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) forbade women from performing these three practices, which the women commonly did for the sake of beauty in those days – seemingly ‘insignificant’ practices for which they would incur the curse of Allah. And this forbiddance isn’t just restricted to the procedures mentioned in the hadeeth. Because Allah says in more general terms in His Book: So set your face truly to the faith,

The Messenger said:

�Allah curses those (women) who tattoo (for others) and those who get tattoos, those who pluck the facial hair (for others) and those who have their facial hair plucked, those who connect their hair with other (fake) hair, and those who file their teeth for beauty � they all change Allah’s creation.�

Bukhari and Muslim

This hadith mentions women in particular because they normally seek to

Beautify themselves more than men. But the warning applies to both genders,

Because the condition for the curse is declared: changing Allah’s creation.

Thus the curse applies to anyone who satisfies such condition.

The companion, Ibn Mas’ood radiaIaahu ‘anhu, once said (quoting what he had heard that

The Messenger said:

�Any woman, who puts on perfume then passes by people so that they can smell her fragrance, is an adulteress.�

The Messenger said:

�If any one of you (women) goes out to the mosque, let her not touch any perfume.�

The Messenger said:

�Any woman, who has scented herself with bakhoor (incense), let her not attend �Ishaa� prayers with us.�

A woman remarked, “What’s all this?” So Ibn Mas’ood – radiallaahu ‘anhu -said: “Should I not curse one whom Allah’s Messenger cursed? And it is in the Book of Allah.”

She said: “I have read the Qur’aan from cover to cover but I did not find that in it.” He replied: “If you had read it thoroughly you would have found it.�

Allah, the Exalted, says in The Qur�an:

“Say: “If ye do love Allah, Follow me: Allah will love you and forgive you your sins: For Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”

Al-e-Imran 3:31

“O ye who believe! Obey Allah, and obey the Messenger, and those charged with authority among you.”

An-Nisaa 4:59

�In the Messenger of Allah is a good example for you to follow.�

Al-Ahzab 33:21

�Whatever the Messenger gives you, take it; and whatever he has forbidden, and refrain from it.�

Al-Hashr 59: 7

She should not remove her clothes outside her Husband’s house:

“Whichever woman removes her clothes in other than her house, then Allah (SWT), will tear down His cover from her.”

[Sahih-Jami, reported by al-Haakim and others]

She Should Not Spend Any of His Wealth or Her Wealth Except With His Permission:

“It is not permissible for a woman to give a gift
except with the permission of her husband.”

[Hasan, reported by Abu Dawud an-Nasaa�ee and Ahmad]

The true, sincere Muslim woman understands the heavy burden that Islam has placed on her shoulders, by obliging her to be a good wife to her husband, to surround him with care and meet his every need, to give him enjoyment, and to renew his energy so that he may fulfill his mission in life. So she does not withhold her advice when she sees that he needs it, and she never hesitates to stand by his side, encouraging him, supporting him and offering advice and consolation.

She helps him to obey Allah (subhaanahu wa �ta�aalaa):

The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said:

�May Allah have mercy on the man who gets up at night to pray and wakes up his wife to pray, and if she refuses, he sprinkles water in her face. And may Allah have mercy on the woman who gets up at night to pray, and wakes her husband up to pray, and if he refuses, she sprinkles water in his face.�

[Abu Dawud, 2/45]

She makes herself beautiful for him: The wife, whose husband only ever sees her with unkempt hair, looking pale and wan and wearing shabby old clothes, is a foolish and disobedient wife. It will be of no help to her if she rushes to beautify herself only when receiving guests, or going to a women�s party, but remains looking shabby most of the time in front of her husband.

It is not permitted for a woman who believes in Allah (subhaanahu wa �ta�aalaa) and the Last Day to grieve for more than three days, except for her husband, (for whom she may grieve) four months and ten days.�

[Fath Al-Bari, 9/484, Kitab Al-Talaq, Bab Ihdad Al-Mutawafa �anha Zawjuha]

She does not describe other women to him: Another of the characteristics of the intelligent Muslim woman is that she does not describe any of her (female) friends or acquaintances to him, because this is forbidden according to the words of the Prophet:

�No woman should talk about another woman, or describe her to her husband (so that it is) as if he sees her.�

[See Fath Al-Bari, 9/338, Kitab Al-Nikah, Bab Tabashir Al-Mar�ah Fatana�atha Li Zawjiha]

She is strong in character and wise: And every Muslim woman should follow her example. The way in which she swore an oath when she was happy with her husband, the Prophet, was different from the way she spoke when she was upset with him. This is an example of good manners and respect. It was something that the Prophet noticed, as she narrated that he said:

�I know when you are happy with me and when you are upset with me.� She said, �How do you know that?� He said, �When you are happy with me, you say, �No, by the Lord of Muhammad,� and when you are upset with me, you say, �No, by the Lord of Ibrahim.�� She said, �Yes, that is right. By Allah (subhaanahu wa �ta�aalaa), O Messenger of Allah, I only keep away from your name.�

[Sahih Muslim]

What refined manners and sincere love!

Almighty says:

And there is no sin for you in the mistakes that ye make unintentionally, but what your hearts purpose (that will be a sin for you). Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.

Al-Ahzab 33: 5

The Messenger said:

�(People of) my nation will not be brought to account for what they have done due to unintentional mistake or forgetfulness.�

Jamharah Khutah al-�Arab, 1/145:

�Abd al-Malik (RA) said: �When �Awf ibn Muhallim al-Shaybani, one of the most highly respected leaders of the Arab nobility during the jahiliyyah, married his daughter Umm Iyas to al-Harith ibn �Amr al-Kindi, she was made ready to be taken to the groom, then her mother, Umamah came into her, to advise her and said: �O my daughter, if it were deemed unnecessary to give you this advice because of good manners and noble descent, then it would have been unnecessary for you, because you posses these qualities, but it will serve as a reminder to those who are forgetful, and will help those who are wise.

�O my daughter, if a woman were able to do without a husband by virtue of her father�s wealth and her need for her father, then you of all people would be most able to do without a husband, but women were created for men just as men were created for them.

�O my daughter, you are about to leave the home in which you grew up, where you first learned to walk, to go to a place you do not know, to a companion to whom you are unfamiliar. By marrying you, he has become a master over you, so be like a servant to him, and he will become like a servant to you. �Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provision and a reminder for you.

�The first and second of them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for contentment brings peace of mind, and listening to and obeying one�s husband pleases Allah.

�The third and fourth of them are: make sure that you smell good and look good; he should not see anything ugly in you, and he should not smell anything but a pleasant smell from you. Kohl is the best kind of beautification to be found, and water is better than the rarest perfume.

�The fifth and sixth of them are: prepare his food on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, for raging hunger is like a burning flame, and disturbing his sleep will make him angry.

The seventh and eight of them are: take care of his servants (or employees) and children, and take care of his wealth, for taking care of his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and taking care of his children and servants shows good management.

�The ninth and tenth of them are: never disclose any of his secrets, and never disobey any of his orders, for if you disclose any of his secrets you will never feel safe from his possible betrayal, and if you disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred towards you.

�Be careful, O my daughter, of showing joy in front of him when he is upset, and do not show sorrow in front of him when he is happy, because the former shows a lack of judgment whilst the latter will make him unhappy. �Show him as much honor and respect as you can, and agree with him as much as you can, so that he will enjoy your companionship and conversation. �Know, O my daughter, that you will not achieve what you would like to until you put his pleasure before your own, and his wishes before yours, in whatever you like and dislike. And may Allah choose what is best for you and protect you.�

The righteous women will cheerfully accept this arrangement, since it is God�s commandment, and honor their husbands during their absence. If you experience rebellion from the women, you shall first talk to them, then (you may use negative incentives like) deserting them in bed, then you may (as a last alternative) beat them. If they obey you, you are not permitted to transgress against them. GOD is Most High, Supreme.

AL-QUR'AN







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